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Post by kato on Sept 1, 2009 6:32:17 GMT -7
The year-round number of times which Kato Yuu had found himself wishing for his ever-so-whiny brother to just shut up and take it like a real man was, quite frankly, impressively depressing. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, two whines a day, and one swear a minute was, in his eyes, enough to make his presumably combustible temper to, well, combust with a furious rage, smoke and fire and all coming out of his ears and nostrils. But thank heavens, considering this was his brother, his family he was dealing with right now, none of that happened, nor would it for lord-knows-how-long. But for that sole reason that was more emotional than ethical, he was forced to stay by Shinji's side in some nightclub that would have normally pissed the living hell out of him, if it weren't for his sibling who was, in all the world's honesty, bitching to him about how he got dumped by some girl again. And with the fact that he was still single and not as successful as he thought he would be in the flirting compartment, Yuu's mood was growing obnoxiously dim.
Being the pessimistic one of the two, Shinji was apparently too miserable to realize that his elder brother was a failure when it came to females, and so decided to spend the night next to him, downing a rather frightening amount of beer (Stella Artois makes the world go round! No argue here.) swiftly, one right after the other, barely leaving any room to just breathe between the sloshing of wheat gold liquid. Yuu himself was deeply amazed by the younger vampire's stupidity; wasn't it he who once said even a partially drunk hobo could see Yuu was not barely one-quarter of a lady killer's shadow? But of course, as their mother once told them after catching them watching Saw III which didn't do much justice to the first and second Saw movies (not that this has anything to do with the current situation Yuu was suffering in, but oh well) and was being loaded by questions that were all among the line of, 'Why did we bust our allowance on such horrible crap?', some questions are better left alone. Which, in this particular scenario, meant that if one somehow saw Yuu and Shinji at the moment, one was to quickly walk the other direction and ignore Yuu's look of Desperation and Plea.
"Why, Onii-chan?" Shinji wailed again, this time clutching at his arm, nearly knocking the beer glass over the bar table. "Why me? Why? Why? Whyyyyyy?"
If it weren't for the fact that this was his precious little brother he was trying to cheer up, Yuu would have laughed. Instead, he just bit his lower lip and continued to stare, admittedly surprised that Shinji still hadn't figured out that the most valid reason of his being ditched by a uber hot one-week-stand (yes, sex from Monday to four hours ago, thank you very much) was no doubt his attire, which basically consisted of a horribly cliché-looking gold medallion that did nothing but enhance his ultra-fawking-stick-thinness, not to mention jeans that were too baggy (thus making him seem shorter than he was already), a torn, ragged shirt that had clearly belonged to the girl, whatever her name was, different coloured socks, and mismatched boots. Oh yes, fashion disaster. And although Yuu, as it was stated earlier, had barely any knowledge of the female mind (hence his preference for guys instead), he had enough common sense to actually know girls went for men who were at least decent looking. And what Shinji wore tonight was by no means ‘decent looking’. In fact, it was so fail that no one in their right minds would call it epic or laugh at it. Shinji was just that screwed.
“Hey Onii-chaaaaaaan, I think I need someone to castrate me…”
Immediately Yuu gasped, bolting up straight, before turning to gape at his brother. What did he just say? Normally, he would have agreed, then casually shrug it off, but now- now he actually believed him. “F-fuck!” He stammered, not daring to tear his eyes off his melancholy sibling. “No, you don’t. You have no idea what it’s like to be a man without a- a… joystick.” This he muttered with a faint hint of humiliation. Never did he want to say such a thing anymore. Thank god they were speaking in the Kansai dialect.
“Oh, what’s the point? My joystick doesn’t give joy, it gives agony! You know what? You should tear it apart. Come on, Onii-chan, I can be your personal eunuch afterwards…”
Yuu’s brows narrowed, eyes glowering dangerously into the other’s. “Stop it. Now. I mean it. Or else I’ll-”
“Hey, you guys fightin’ or somethin’?” Damn bartender. “Because if you are, don’t do it here, go outside, will you?”
Fighting back a sudden snarl, Yuu nodded, standing up while slamming a greatly irritating number of Pounds; Shinji was too drunk to even remember the total cost of beer he took. Speaking of which, by the time they were out, the poor drunk was leaning on the elder’s body, his own pack of skin and bones being supported by means of a piggyback ride. Dear lord. Letting out a sigh, Yuu shook his head, carefully not to drop his sleeping brother in the middle of the sidewalk. “I don’t suppose you’ll remember all this nonsense when you wake up with a hangover tomorrow, but please don’t go around asking random people to slice off your balls and dick. That’d be real sad, Shin, that’d be real sad indeed.”
However, as he began to walk again, he realized with a slight pang of guilt that having his own brother dismembered down there was not as sad as the fact that home was an hour’s walk away.
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